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THE MADNESS OF #spinnwebe

The regulars at SpinnWebe.com are found in an IRC channel on EFnet in which madness ensues daily, several pranks are pulled, and if you enter at the right time, you probably will have no idea what the hell we're talking about. Here's some of the logs and excerpts of the stunts we've pulled. If some things said here don't make any sense, they're probably a running gag or in-joke. WARNING: These logs are unedited and pure, meaty logs. Such things as channel joins are not cut out. Due to laziness, of course. If you dig that sort of thing, good. If not, tough shit. I also added comments where I felt it was needed. They're surrounded by three dashes. The IRC quotes and excerpts are also edited for content. Such things as greetings, quits, or any other superfluous matter are omitted.

Last updated: 5/16/00  (About fuckin' time!)


Torturing of Jesus Fanatics


Blame The Dodge for this one. The filthiness that enveloped the conversation at one point inspired us to join #jesus. Also includes The Dodge's incoherent sermon on the mound. If you're a religious fanatic, say MANY, MANY prayers. Right now.
Part #1
Part #2

The Great Photon Fiasco


One of the regulars in #spinnwebe, Photon, entered with the nick Photon2 one day, because the nick Photon was taken. After a disconnection, with his nick still online, he entered with the nick Photon3. Spinn responded to this by naming himself Photon4. I proceeded to call myself Photon5. Push come to shove, almost the whole channel is named a Photon of sorts. We find out the anti-Photon (the guy who originally took our Photon's nick), is in #socialism. We decided to confuse the hell out of them. We annoyed them instead. Just as good.
Part #1
Part #2

Alternate State Mottos


The #spinnwebe folks one night decided to give the states new mottos. I regret not being there for it. Special thanks to The Enigma for providing the log AND alphabetizing it by state.
The Ruffiani States of America

The Elksplit


I discovered Elkman was horribly lagged one afternoon. This brought up the theory that he was somehow lost in time. The rest is self-explanatory.
Part #1
Part #2 (Coming soon)

Why You Should Never Tell About Your Date To #spinnwebe


This one basically speaks for itself. Shil went on a date. And she told about it to the wrooooong people.
Part #1
Part #2


Quotes and Excerpts:

<TheEnigma> Patty and Marcie aren't at ALL lesbians.
<maime> I was going to say "When they're not digging each other"
<DocEvil> BOTH have expressed romantic interset in CB
<K_Man> Patty and Marcie aren't lesbians.  And Lucy's a sweetheart.  Uh-huh.  Yep.
<DocEvil> Well, considering theyre about 12...
<TheBoy> yeah
<TheBoy> wait-what age are they supposed to be?
<DocEvil> Im guessing twelve
<maime> I think closer to 8 or 9
<TheEnigma> Hm.
<TheBoy> yeah, around that
<TheEnigma> So they're starting young.
<TheBoy> heh
<TheBoy> I dunno...they don't have sex or anything
<K_Man> Not on the strip, anyway.
<TheEnigma> Off-strip, when the beer flows and the inhibitions disappear....
<DocEvil> You know, Chuck... When our secondary sexual characteristics finally develop, Im gonna rock your world
 

<LadyJ> turretts?
<LadyJ> like castle towers?
<mdxi> "Tourette's", i think :)
<LadyJ> yup
<mdxi> it's named after FUCK a GODDAMNED SONOFABITCH french guy
<K-Man> heh
<TheEnigma> You forgot the "moooooo" and "oink" in there, K.
<LadyJ> my sis said she saw a PBS thing about tourettes, and one guy would use words to cover up his attacks
<mdxi> i had to GWAAAAAAAA spell it MOTHERFUCK a few HNNNNNG HNNNNNG times until it looked RIGHTAAAAAAGH
<LadyJ> like he'd say "NIGGERS... uh DIMES QUARTERS"
<K-Man> What are you COCKSUCKER FUCKBALL talking about DAMN PISS SHIT, Enigma?
<Mr-Ben> Yeah, what in the BATSHIT FUCKER COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE is going on BITCH BITCH CUNT here?
*** zompist has joined #spinnwebe
<K-Man> Heya FUCK COCK SHIT zompist!
<zompist> hi, folks!
<TheEnigma> Look, you fucking shitfaced cocksucking nice man, K-Man....I'm moooooo talking the fucking shit baaaaa about Tourette's syndrome. It's shit shit SHIT SHIT a really sad woof woof disease that *twitch* isn't really bastard cocksucker funny if you tweet tweet *twitch* think fucking asshole about it, meow.
 

<zompist> jeez, folks.
<zompist> you could be sharing the drugs you're on.
 

<TMR> Dinner: It's what's for dinner.
<hockeyfag> dinner: its what you eat in the evening
 <Photon3> dinner: the other meal
 <Mr-Ben> Dinner: Sometimes, it's the ONLY meal.
 <mdxi> Dinner: It's In My Pants
 <K_Man> Dinner: The other white meal.
 <DMLaenker> Dinner: It's Wher It Is
 <Photon3> Got dinner?
 <Mr-Ben> The Dysfunctional Dinner Circus.
 <K_Man> It's A Dysfunctional Dinner
 <TMR> Dinner: for that time between lunch and the midnight snack,
 <DMLaenker> Dinner: The Critical Mass of the Day.
 <TMR> Behold the power of Dinner.
 <Mr-Ben> A dysfunctional dinner is when someone slaps a platter in front of you and the chicken is still alive!
 <K_Man> Dinner?  You're soaking in it!
 <TMR> No, a dysfunctional dinner is the platter with a live chicken on it, and there's somebody stuck to it.
 

<LadyJeigh> stop it, TMR
<LadyJeigh> I'm already horny enough
<TMR> Take five and wank, J.
 

<MisterQ> well..   I'm going to go to bed soon....   so I'll depart with the following words of wisdom..
<MisterQ> Tommorrow whenever someone asks you a question answer: 'no comment'
<spinn> "say, did you hear what happened to western iowa?" "no comment."
<MisterQ> How was your day?  'no comment'   What? 'no comment'  What's wrong with you?  'no comment'
<Elkman> OK, what did happen to western Iowa?
<spinn> no comment.
 

<DMLaenker> Especially when people start... doing ellipses... like these... and start adding... emotional commentary (smile)... it makes them look... a little like they're strung out on valium ;)
<TheDodge> Hey...I like to use ellipses
<DMLaenker> This is one of... my biggest internet pet peeves... (smile)
<|K-Man> I only use ellipses when I'm continuing something...
<|K-Man> ...yeah.
<TheDodge> Now...I'm...no...fan...of...pointless...ellipsing
<DMLaenker> I've seen people talk like that in person. They're really out on painkillers, mostly.
<TheDodge> Actually, my speech in Serbian sounds like that
<TheDodge> I...would...like...to...marry...your...goat
<TheDodge> That's me trying to buy a beer in Serbia
<TheDodge> Actually, for a nation where the discharging of firearms is attached to many religious sacrements (weddings, christenings, funerals, christmas and easter), they are suprisingly laid back
<TheDodge> We watched a video one day about Serbian traditions on various occasions, and man, they shoot pistols no matter what's going on.
<|K-Man> Sounds like Newark.
<TheDodge> After about half an hour, we were like, "Where's the shooter?" and BAM! there he was firing bullets into a rock to signify Columbus Day or some shit
 

 <TheDodge> Well, I've always promised myself that if I ever own a mega corporation, I'm starting a whole line of products called "Fuckin' Good"
<Da_Raven> Imagine the irony if you open a marital aids store.
<TheDodge> Like, "Hey Bob, your hair looks pretty fuckin' good!"  "Thanks, that's cause I use Fuckin' Good Shampoo!"
<TheDodge> I'm telling you, I'd dominate the market
<TheDodge> Our motto "People don't want no shit...they want Fuckin' Good products"
<TheDodge> "Oh, gosh darn it Joan...my Timmie's diaper is leaking again...but your little Billy is dry!"  "That's cause these are Fuckin' Good diapers!"
<|K-Man> I'd buy a Fuckin' Good product.
<spinn> Fuckin' Good Shampoo...When You Need To Look Your Fuckin' Best.
<TheDodge> I could even have a "Hooked on Phonics" type thing called "Fuckin' A"
<TheDodge> "Little Joey here was a total dumbass who couldn't read, until his parents bought him our program...Hey Joey, can you read now?"
<TheDodge> "Fuckin' A!"
 

<hockeyfag> blues clues penis peanut butter.. makes your own dog lick all over like blue..
<TheEnigma> Blue's Clues Vibrators - Taking the mystery out of clitoral stimulation.
<hockeyfag> Blue's Clues Vibrators - find out why my owner always has such a big smile on his face..
<TheDoc> Blues Clues double-ended dildos
<TheEnigma> Blue's Clues Buttplugs - Kids, it's up to you to discover where Steve hid them!  Here's a hint - they're in his asshole.
<hockeyfag> Blue's Clues Buttplugs.. Special customs model to get those special packages back from tiajuana
<TheEnigma> Blue's Clues Leather Bondage Straps - The real mystery is how tight you can tie them around someone before they turn as blue as Blue!
 

*** spinn has joined #spinnwebe
<Leth_> re spinn
<spinn> FINE BE THAT WAY
*** spinn  has left #spinnwebe

<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"

<DocEvil> FUCK!!!
<Mr-Ben> The Fuck!
<RJak> what the fuck?
<K_Man> May The Fuck be with you.
<MisterQ> what the fuck was that?
<K_Man> How many fucking lines can we type that has the word "fuck"?
<Mr-Ben> THE FUCK!  And his cleaner, intended for Wal-Mart counterpart: The Hell!
<MisterQ> lots
<MisterQ> fucking lots
<K_Man> YOU JUST FUCKED IT UP, Q!
<RJak> fuck you all!
<DocEvil> I say 007... fuck off!
<K_Man> hee hee fucking hee
<Mr-Ben> I am FUCK.  FUCK OF THE MOUNTAIN.
<RJak> lovely cussing action there...fuck...
<K_Man> What'd you just fucking call me?
<MisterQ> I saw Sleepy Hollow.  It wasn't bad at all.  Cristina Ricci is hot.  Also: fuck

<spinn> I say star wars VIII sould be about the crumbling empire sending a deep-space probe out into space, and it lands on earth, and they have all sorts of wacky misadventures in manhattan
<spinn> and when they run into battlestar galactica...whoo-ho-ho, wackiness is sure to ensue!

* Raven labels a bunch of floppies.
<CrazyClimber> "USELESS"?
<Raven> ?
<CrazyClimber> the label for the floppies
<CrazyClimber> are any files as small as 1.4 megs anymore?
<zompist> floppies: nothing better for storing 1/100 of a microsoft app!

<Elkman> Where's area code 337?  The NANPA map for Louisiana only shows 318, 225 and 504.
<agent_orange> Elk: it's a new addition to 318, which is overburdened
<agent_orange> the NAMBLA map?
<kaufman> North American Nookie Pizzle Association?
<agent_orange> Not Another Naughty Peener Anecdote
<Elkman> NANPA.  North American Numbering Plan Administration -- though the alternate suggestions are more interesting.
<spinn> I guess pennsylvania doesn't get assigned a number, huh?
<SeanQ> they're all Amish
<agent_orange> no numbers, just symbols
<agent_orange> dial %$#-225-0789

<spinn> man
<spinn> you gotta wonder if dan's been off his medication recently or something
<Elkman> Why's that?
<K-Man> heh.  /Recently/?
<spinn> true.
<K-Man> Dan's a "special" boy.
<spinn> "I visited the scientology page and now I'm worried they'll follow me forever"?
<spinn> like "I downloaded a gif and now compuserve is trying to read my mind" or something

* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar