If you're here, then you have taken the Shmuck Quiz or someone else who did gave you this URL (Which, of course, is cheating and now gives me the right to assassinate you). Here it is! THE ANSWERS!:
1.Which show do you like best?
Out of the choices

  • Jesse
  • Dawson's Creek
  • Mad about You
  • The Simpsons
    The obvious is The Simpsons. Answering Dawson's Creek gets you a smack in the face.

    2.Which movie do you like best?
    Out of the choices

  • The Truman Show
  • Titanic
  • You've Got Mail
  • Varsity Blues
    The correct answer is The Truman Show. Answering Varsity Blues also gets you a smack in the face.

    3.Which cheese is best?
    Out of the choices

  • Deli American
  • Gorgonzola
  • Wisconsin Cheddar
  • Swiss
    Deli American is correct (I am The CheeseMaster, I should know these things ;)

    4. Which Late Show host is best?
    Out of the choices

  • Jay Leno
  • David Letterman
  • Ton Snyder
  • Conan O' Brien
    Trick question. If you read carefully, it says which LATE SHOW host is best. David Letterman is the only one that hosts The Late Show. Although Conan O'Brien is funniest.

    5.What drink do you like best?
    Out of the choices

  • Dr. Pepper
  • Pepsi
  • Snapple
  • Kool-Aid
    It's Dr. Pepper, of course. Didn't you see the home page?

    6.Which band do you like best?
    Out of the choices

  • Backstreet Boys
  • Jay-Z
  • Rage Against The Machine
  • Goo Goo Dolls
    Rage Against The Machine, no contest. Hopefully you didn't answer any of the other 3 God-awful bands.

    7.Whose hand would you rather shake?
    Out of the choices

  • Bill Gates
  • The Pope
  • Jerry Seinfeld
  • Elvis Presley
    Simple: Jerry Seinfeld. Hopefully you didn't answer Elvis, because that's disgusting. He's dead, for Christ's sake.

    8.Who would win in a fight?
    Out of the choices

  • Shao Kahn
  • M. Bison
    In order to answer this fairly you must have played Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat 2....but the correct answer is Shao Kahn.

    9.What would you rather have?
    Out of the choices

  • A mansion and a lot of property
  • An apartment and a lot of stuff
  • A cabin in the middle of nowhere
  • A Barn
    Everyone has a different answer to this, but if you're like me, then you would want an Apartment and a lot of stuff (What do I need a lot of property for?)

    10.Open Answer: Describe the plot of 12 monkeys
    If you described the plot well, I gave you this question, but a true Shmuck would answer with "no"

    Now that you know the answers, know the ranks!
    For the score that you recieved you also recieve a rank. Here they are:
  • 100 - First Class Shmuck!
  • 90 - Second Class Shmuck
  • 80 - Honorary Shmuck
  • 70 - First Class Moron
  • 60 - Average Moron
  • 50 - Lesser known moron
  • 40 - Poindexter
  • 30 - Genuine Twit
  • 20 - Counterfeit Twit
  • 10 - Bona-Fide Idiot
  • 0 - My Intellectual Opposite!
    That's it! The cheat sheet on the Shmuck quiz! Hope you had fun participating in this. Have a nice day!